Quando Quando Quando

Quando Quando Quando - when when when?

To be honest, the last 7 days have been hell on earth for my mom and dad but I don't want this blog to always be so depressing.  Over 3 million people have seen the lovely video of Teddy Mac, a dementia sufferer, singing Quando Quando Quando and let it continue to bring a smile to our faces 😄

I drove my dad home from hospital on Monday.  He was still recovering from pneumonia and nowhere near ready to leave but the hospital needed the bed I suppose. On Thursday he developed an all-over-body rash. The GP came and said it was an allergy and prescribed more medication to add to the mountain of pills. Dad has also become incontinent and my mom is utterly exhausted with all the changing of underwear, sheets, etc.  She's nearly 82 years old and is on the verge of a breakdown 😢 I would DEARLY love to give up work and care for both of my parents but I can't afford not to work.  I'm juggling 4 jobs and feel so guilty all the time that I'm not there 24/7. Oh, what to do....?

Today, my mom rang 111 (the NHS emergency and urgency services number) to say she couldn't cope with Dad and a senior nurse said that she would contact Social Services.  Let's see what happens. Dad has worsening dementia, is thin, weak and skeletal and in desperate need of this new heart valve.... WHEN WHEN WHEN?

https://youtu.be/9UQ5mjFzHTA

Ps. I have a stinking cold and am unable able to visit this weekend for fear of spreading germs.  My brother and his wife have the 'flu so Mom and Dad are very much on their own. Hoping they can hang in there!

Apple Trees

My husband Trevor and I visited Dad in hospital today. Dad is recovering from pneumonia and doing remarkably well but his dementia will not improve.  Occasionally it will hide behind a mask of lucidity and he is so normal I want to cry with thankfulness. However today was a mixture of understanding and confusion. He looked weak, thin and vulnerable.  He is not the strong father I remember from years ago. Not the father who used to repair the roof, rewire the house, build furniture, tend to the garden, take me fishing in the summer and sledging in the winter snow. Not the father who taught me mathematics, helped with history projects and proof-read English essays. He is not the father who took me elderberry picking to make home-made wine or helped me climb our apple tree. Beautiful memories! These times are long gone and my father is now just a shell of the man he once was. In my mind though he will always be my hero and I love him x

1940s Remembered......

Today was a good day with my dad, Eric.  Just before Christmas I bought him a book about life in the 1940s.  When I mentioned the book, Dad had no recollection of me giving it to him but when my husband Trevor and I started showing him the pages, it conjured up many memories.

 

Dad knew immediately that the above picture was the work of British cartoonist, Fougasse (real name: Cyril Kenneth Bird).  I definitely recommend the book, available from Amazon.

 

 



My dad, Eric

My dad Eric, aged 89, was diagnosed with "mixed dementia" in June 2016. He has Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer's Disease.  If someone had told me a year ago this is what would happen to him, I would have been very surprised.  He's always been so incredibly fit and mentally alert. Something 'just happened' under a year ago.  He stopped joining in with conversation and responding to questions.  To be honest, I thought  he was going a bit deaf and am shocked by the results of memory tests.  It has been very hard on my mom, Pauline, aged 81.  Dad has always been in control of everything and now Mom is in the position of Carer, not Wife.
Dad is fine with routine things... he can wash, go to the toilet, eat and remember the immediate family....actually that's about it. He can no longer think, make decisions or help with household chores.  He cannot remember how to record programmes, use a mobile phone or sort out any kind of paperwork. My heart is breaking and if anyone can offer comfort or help, please do. I'm too emotional to write any more.....