Friday, 7 July 2017


It’s been 12 weeks since my last post. Where to begin? Dad had his TAVI (transcatheter aortic valve implantation) in April and he’s made a good recovery. My mom and I have been looking forward to this for so long. In our distorted thinking, we believed that Dad’s dementia would improve.  Of course, it hasn’t – he’s much worse. The operation means that he is no longer struggling to breathe, which is fantastic. However, he is struggling to think, walk, talk and go to the toilet. 

I do at times, have to smile at his behaviour. For instance, he went through a period of getting up early, having breakfast, going back to bed, getting up, having breakfast, back to bed, more breakfast etc. At lunch-time my mom would ask what he wanted to eat and he would respond, “I can’t say I’m hungry”. He was too blumin full of Weetabix, that’s why!  Other times he has got up and put his trousers on over his pyjamas, or put shorts on back to front. Things are much worse now. He’s not capable of getting his own breakfast or making any decisions about what to wear even if they are the wrong way round.  Now Dad frequently has ‘accidents’ so Mom is constantly washing his pants and trousers. She encourages him to wear incontinence pants, which are a Godsend.
I took Dad for a walk to the park on Tuesday (to give Mom a break) and it was quite hard going. He clung on to me and needed regular rests on park benches. I go over 2-3 times a week (a 50-mile round trip) but it never feels enough. If I lived nearer, it would be every day and I always feel a terrible guilt that I have to go to work.

Dad will be 90 on 24th August. I feel blessed to still have 2 living parents but oh God, I would not wish this bloody awful dementia on my worst enemy. It’s been heart-breaking to witness Dad losing his mind and Mom (almost) fall apart with stress and anxiety. God knows what will happen if my mom becomes ill but I dare not think about that……

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